(NOTE: Some of these sentences have been dramatized for your convenience.)**
For those that have a Facebook, and for those that even don't, I'm sure you've heard of the notorious Farmville and Petville applications. (Doodly doodly Petville!)These games have taken over Facebook land, making addiction certain to all that play it. Guilty as charged, I almost got addicted myself. I can recall worrying about how my crops were doing, or if my pet needed feeding. I remember the pain of constantly signing onto facebook, checking if my stupid corn plants were finally growing yet. After a few days, I got sick of Farmville. After about two weeks, Petville was getting to me as well. I decided I needed intervention.
I decided to cancel my application to both games, forever ending my "ville" career. However, doing so would prove harder than I could possibly imagine...
*FLASHBACK..BACK..BACK..Wooosh!*
I sit back in my chair, gazing critically at the computer screen. I watch as a large truck appears on the screen, and dumps a filthy little creature that is supposed to be my own on the floor.
"Uh oh," says the computer, "You forgot to feed your Pet and he ran away to the pound!"
"Well I was busy." I tell the computer, "Don't be so harsh with me."
I pay the fine for not taking care of him. The pet on my computer screen waves a filthy little fist at me. He walks over to his food dish and pauses to wave away some of the flies that are now circling his head. "Feed me." His blue eyes seem to say. But his eyes could have been red: his eyes were that blood shot. I give him a cookie and switch over to my next application, Famville. I wait for the screen to load and then look at it in horror. All of my plants are wilted and brown.
"Uh oh." says the computer, "You forgot to harvest your plants and now they are all dead!"
"Yeah, I see that with my own eyes. I was busy. Don't be so harsh with me." I answer. I plant some more seeds and lean back and wait. And then it occurs to me:
Why do I have to take care of these things, anyway? They take a lot of time and the berate you with guilt. Why do they have to order me around? I should be free. I want to be free! That's it.
I'm going to cancel the applications!
I decide to start with Farmville first, not wanting to deal with my sarcastic pet at the time. I go to my my account, click "application settings", and drag my cursor onto "cancel Farmville". I click my mouse. A small window pops up asking me if I really want to terminate my application. I click, "yes". Another window pops up and says,
"Do you REALLY want to terminate this application?"
"Yes, I believe I do." I click yes. Another window pops up.
"Are you REALLY REALLY sure you want to do this? I mean, if you do this you'll lose all of your hard earned money. Perhaps I should send intervention."
What? I click, "Yes, I want to do this." Another window appears. It says, "Intervention sent". I sigh with relief because I think the whole thing is over. Then a large poof of smoke appears on my left shoulder. I cough wave the cloud away, only to find that my hand touches something solid. Being the logical person I am, I scream. Out of the smoke cloud appears a small girl. She jumps off of my shoulder and onto my keyboard. I look at her. She looks exactly like my farmville avatar, except she had little angel wings. She hops onto my shoulder.
"Please don't cancel me. I'm your friend." She says.
"I'm sorry, but if I don't nix you then you will guilt my conscience forever."
"You've forgotten something."
"What is that?"
"I AM your conscience. The good side."
I can practically hear the dramatic music play in my head. I pick her up by the wings and set her on my desk. I continue to delete my account. She pulls on my ear. I cry out in pain.
"WHAT did you do that for? Say, where's my bad side?"
"He's on vacation. You can't delete me! Think of all that we've been through. The planting, the picking, the planting, the picking. And remember the time that we planted and picked in the same day? Don't do this to me!" She shouts.
"I'm sorry Good Side of My Conscience, but I have to do this." I move to click on the delete button. She stabs me in the thumb with a pitch fork.
"OH MY GOSH," I scream, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY GOOD SIDE."
She blows on her pitch fork.
"Sometimes there's a thin line between your good side, and your bad side. Don't push the button, Esther."
"How do you know my name?"
"...I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN!"
"Well, that's too bad!" I say. I click my mouse.
"NOOOO!! You'll regret this Esther! You'll rue this day!" She screams.
"I don't see why, I just canceled the application." I say.
My good side disappears in a cloud of smoke. I sigh back and relax. I decide just to let my Petville pet starve, just in case I get on my bad side.
**-Okay, maybe a bit more than dramatized.
....Yeah. That's what happened. I'm serious. I'm just here to say that applications on facebook aren't all they are cut out to be. Maybe you agree with me.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
A very HAIRY situation.
Heh, I made a pun.
And you will know why I made this pun when I tell you about the topic I chose to write about today. I bet you wouldn't guess it in a million years, but go ahead anyway.
Today I am writing about my hair! For all of you that guessed correctly, good job. For those that guessed, "anchovie", there is something wrong with you! *clap clap*
Anyway, I've decided to talk about my hair because I slightly upset with it. I am not hair style oriented. My sister took that gene. As a matter of fact, I am so bad at styling my own hair it must be a disorder or something. (You've probably noticed that i have a lot of those by now.)The only thing I can do is tie it back in a pony tail, and I can only do that 50 percent of the time. Kind of sad, right? This probably stems from the fact that I am lazy, or my lack of fashion sense. Either way, my hair will never look good unless it is extremely well brushed or tied back. No hats for me, no siree. My hair would just go, "zzzzzitc!" That's the sound of it frizzing.
So anyway, the real reason that I am writing this is because I'm thinking about getting a hair cut. I kind of want to cut my hair pretty short. It reaches about midway on my shoulder blades at the moment, and I want to make it shorter. The problem is, I've never really had my hair styled before so I am kind of nervous about it, if I go through with the plan. It's always been long and straight, so it would be a change whatever I do. What does the universe think? Well, until next time.
And you will know why I made this pun when I tell you about the topic I chose to write about today. I bet you wouldn't guess it in a million years, but go ahead anyway.
Today I am writing about my hair! For all of you that guessed correctly, good job. For those that guessed, "anchovie", there is something wrong with you! *clap clap*
Anyway, I've decided to talk about my hair because I slightly upset with it. I am not hair style oriented. My sister took that gene. As a matter of fact, I am so bad at styling my own hair it must be a disorder or something. (You've probably noticed that i have a lot of those by now.)The only thing I can do is tie it back in a pony tail, and I can only do that 50 percent of the time. Kind of sad, right? This probably stems from the fact that I am lazy, or my lack of fashion sense. Either way, my hair will never look good unless it is extremely well brushed or tied back. No hats for me, no siree. My hair would just go, "zzzzzitc!" That's the sound of it frizzing.
So anyway, the real reason that I am writing this is because I'm thinking about getting a hair cut. I kind of want to cut my hair pretty short. It reaches about midway on my shoulder blades at the moment, and I want to make it shorter. The problem is, I've never really had my hair styled before so I am kind of nervous about it, if I go through with the plan. It's always been long and straight, so it would be a change whatever I do. What does the universe think? Well, until next time.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Villainy Week: Evil Relationships
You are evil. And you want somebody to share it with. I'm sure you've found that it is difficult to live life without somebody to loathe(see your nemesis), but now you want somebody to love. However, it is better to go without loving than living with it. More evil plans have been ruined by this horrible five letter word than any other. I advise you to always be extremely cautious when dealing with this emotion, because most of the time it will be the end of you. Do not look upon the hero's various lovers with envy. He does not have such a dark heart as yours. Of course, I am not telling you to throw your heart away, just to be extremely cautious.
First off, allow me to tell you the types of girls who are off limits. There are some people that are just not compatible with you, no matter what. First I will tell you what is off limits for MALE villains.
First off, we have the spunky princess. I know she's cute and "feisty", but that doesn't matter. She will never marry you. Ever. And if you ask her again she'll probably scream it. No, it is best not to go there. She is only a damsel in distress that will attract a hero to save her. And trust me, it's painful to watch the girl you love be carried away by in the muscular hero's arms, leaving you to wallow in the dirt.
Second, never attempt to date the hero's girlfriend. It is kind of odd that he always finds the girl that is extremely attractive, intelligent, and "feisty", but he also always finds the girls that hate you. If you somehow manage to capture the allusive girlfriend, throw her away. Do not tell her you will kill her boyfriend if she doesn't kiss you right then and there. This will result in the face slap. Also, don't try to kiss her in front of the hero. This is just an invitation for some major butt woopin'.
It is obvious that male villains suffer a lot, but female villains make wrong choices too. Here are some tips for female villains to save their hearts from being shattered.
First off, don't fall in love with the hero. I know that he's cute, but he's also a good person. Good and evil don't mix. While you may let him live after he is caught in your evil web, he won't return the favor. He will use you for his own game. If he already has a girlfriend, don't try to kill her. After all, jealousy won't win him over. Don't ever degrade yourself to wearing showy outfits and revealing dresses. He won't notice. In the event that he does claim he loves you as well, he's LYING. But this would be a good time to kiss him and get the whole thing over with. Then you can kill him and NOT feel bad about it.
Second, don't use your feminine wiles to get people to do things for you. It works on henchmen,(heck, it works on the hero)but you have to understand that it develops a fake relationship with you and what little friends you have. You are allowed to do it every now and then, just don't do it to the point where you come off as a floozy. You are not a floozy. You are a strong, beautiful person who doesn't need that bologna.
And there you have the cautions of romantic relationships. You will find that you will be checking here every now and then to remind yourself that love is never the answer. But it doesn't hurt to go out and date every now and then, just don't get too attached. Until next time.
First off, allow me to tell you the types of girls who are off limits. There are some people that are just not compatible with you, no matter what. First I will tell you what is off limits for MALE villains.
First off, we have the spunky princess. I know she's cute and "feisty", but that doesn't matter. She will never marry you. Ever. And if you ask her again she'll probably scream it. No, it is best not to go there. She is only a damsel in distress that will attract a hero to save her. And trust me, it's painful to watch the girl you love be carried away by in the muscular hero's arms, leaving you to wallow in the dirt.
Second, never attempt to date the hero's girlfriend. It is kind of odd that he always finds the girl that is extremely attractive, intelligent, and "feisty", but he also always finds the girls that hate you. If you somehow manage to capture the allusive girlfriend, throw her away. Do not tell her you will kill her boyfriend if she doesn't kiss you right then and there. This will result in the face slap. Also, don't try to kiss her in front of the hero. This is just an invitation for some major butt woopin'.
It is obvious that male villains suffer a lot, but female villains make wrong choices too. Here are some tips for female villains to save their hearts from being shattered.
First off, don't fall in love with the hero. I know that he's cute, but he's also a good person. Good and evil don't mix. While you may let him live after he is caught in your evil web, he won't return the favor. He will use you for his own game. If he already has a girlfriend, don't try to kill her. After all, jealousy won't win him over. Don't ever degrade yourself to wearing showy outfits and revealing dresses. He won't notice. In the event that he does claim he loves you as well, he's LYING. But this would be a good time to kiss him and get the whole thing over with. Then you can kill him and NOT feel bad about it.
Second, don't use your feminine wiles to get people to do things for you. It works on henchmen,(heck, it works on the hero)but you have to understand that it develops a fake relationship with you and what little friends you have. You are allowed to do it every now and then, just don't do it to the point where you come off as a floozy. You are not a floozy. You are a strong, beautiful person who doesn't need that bologna.
And there you have the cautions of romantic relationships. You will find that you will be checking here every now and then to remind yourself that love is never the answer. But it doesn't hurt to go out and date every now and then, just don't get too attached. Until next time.
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