Shocking of the Bio?

So I played Bioshock for the first time today. The game has always looked great-albeit terrifying-to me, so I thought I would give it a shot. (CAUTION: This is a rant. Read at own risk. Rated 13 and up for violence and Esther stupidity.)

Now for the guys that know me, you maybe thinking, "What? Esther played Bioshock? Isn't she like, a wimp?" And for those that are thinking this, you are right. I am a wimpy wimp with wimp issues. You may be pleased to know, however, that I actually played this game for a couple hours straight. Ha! I know Bioshock isn't a horror game, but it's still a big step for me. So anyway, onto my story.

Well first, I put the disk into the 360 drive. Actually, my dad put it in. It was just him, me, and my littlest sister in the house because the rest of my family went swimming with a totally lame family. (Just kidding, I love you guys.) Dad became my designated watcher. I grabbed the controller, propped my foot up on the couch, and started playing. (Spoilers?)

Mmkay, so maybe I was a little scared. Just a tad. I mean, who wouldn't be a little intimidated going several hundred feet underwater into a city crawling with genetically altered citizens?

Well, it seems that my plane has crashed in a large body of water, leaving me stranded. I swam to a building in the water, and went inside. (This IS Rapture, ya know.) It was really dark in the building so that's kind of when I went,

"Oh gosh, it's dark. It's dark! Please don't jump out of the darkness and stab me, little Splicers. I love you Splicers."

From that point I tip toed my way through the darkness and I found a submarine.

"Ooh! A submarine!"

Turns out it was an elevator, but that doesn't matter. It was dark! I got into the elevator and went down. Really really far down. Each passing story I went like, "Oh, so I'm going to have to go this far up to get home, then?" When the elevator stopped, I saw a Splicer (Genetically altered human thing) through the closed glass door. I watched as the Splicer did something really mean to a dude, and I immediately freaked out.

"AH! I'm totally freaking out!" I said.

The Splicer looked at me and said something about killing. I'm sure it didn't have to do with me. Then it attacked my elevator, stabbing it and almost stabbing me. Yay! Then this guy on a radio talks to me. Whatever, I don't trust him. I don't trust anyone. But I take the radio with me anyway.

It turns out, after I passed a couple of halls, I stopped freaking out. I grabbed this nifty wrench and the fear went away. Seriously, there is nothing like a good wrench to build self confidence. Unfortunately, having a weapon means that I can be really paranoid. I take my paranoia out on things that move, and things that don't.

Let me explain my little paranoia to you. I was walking through some dentist place and I saw a dead body. It looked dead, of course. So I shot it. Twice. Seriously, in this game I will attack ANYTHING. A crate? I shoot it. A woman crying over her fallen child? I shoot her too. Turns out she didn't have a baby in that carriage she was crying over. It was just a gun she was going to attack me with. So appearently my paranoia in videogames pays off in this one.

After a while I ran into a Big Daddy. Big Daddy's are possibly the cutest demi-boss I've ever seen. I love them! Too bad I have to kill them, seriously. I mean, why can't they just let me get to the Little Sister? It's not like I'm going to harvest her for genetic material or anythin-oh wait.

My first enounter went like this:

ME: Oh! Look! A BD! He's so cute!

BD: Gwaaaaaaaaah!

ME: I don't want to attack you. I hope you attack me.

(BD does nothing)

ME: ATTACK ME! (I go and poke him.)

BD: GAAAAH! (attacks)

ME: That's more like it-GAH! MY ORGANS! THEY'RE ALL VITAL AND THEY ARE ALL GONE!*

I survived my first encounter by leading him to a giant puddle of water and shooting him with electricity. (Thank you Pokemon, for teaching me that water conducts electricity.) So far I haven't died once. We'll see how that goes.

This may sound like bad stuff, really. But Bioshock is an awesome game. The depth of the story is amazing. Every enemy seems to have a different personality, and the nifty audio records lost by many give a good look into the characters of Rapture. I've only played this for a couple of hours, but really, I can tell this one is a master piece. So long as you have a strong stomach. Until next time.

END RANT.

*I say this a lot.

I'm back!

I'm back! *Throws confeti in the air* YAY!

Who missed me? I bet you ALL missed me right? I am sooo right.

For all of those who care, I had a great time in Florida. The only down side was that we did not have internet at all, so I couldn't check my email or facebook or anything. I had to rely on free wi fi, which seems to only consistantly exist in Mcdonalds. Argh.

But with that aside, my family and I had a great time. We didn't do much expensive stuff, but we had a joly good experience anyway. We went to the beach, went to the movies, ate out a lot, got free mints after I begged a guy..etc. Sounds like fun, right? We had so much fun I don't know how to tell you all. I guess I can tell you about the journey to Florida first, which was a nice experience in itself.

We started out in the early morning. This was because I had an appointment with my foot doctor in Indy so I could have my stitches removed. (see earlier blog post) When we got there, it was made appearent that I couldn't get my foot wet at all at the risk of health issues and junk like that. Yeah, we were going to Florida, Land of Beaches and Sunburn, so I was pretty bummed. This started the whole, "We Must Waterproof Esther" saga, which I may touch on later, but maybe not because it is a big ordeal.

The first couple hours of the trip were kind of stressful. It wasn't because the family was all grumpy, but because dad borrowed one of those GPS things. Its-I mean HER- name is Garmin, and she is quite confusing. All we wanted to do was stop for lunch at a BK, and she got us LOST! Dad got her from a Guy. (I think Guy is his name, hence the caps. Or it could be a Randy.) Garmin seemed interesting and useful at first, but she got in a bad mood and led us down the wrong path. Our family seriously considered naming her GLADOS, because she got more malicious as we arrived closer to our destination. After that though she was pretty useful.

The rest of the trip involved many pit stops, a giant dinosaur, and many a sleepless hour. (Thanks to the uncomfortable car seats) And then we got there. Our room was very pretty. It would have had to be because we payed 1400 bucks for the thing. At that was our trip to Florida. Later I may tell you what I did there, but now I think I'll just sit back and relax.

Yeah, it's good to be back.

Too sunneh to be funneh!

(First off I would like to say, YES! This is because I have finally managed to sign on into my blogger account. I haven't been able to for days. I'm not sure if I will be able to do it again though. Google is confusing right now. I'm sure I will get it eventually.)


With that aside, I'm sure you are all interested to know that I am going on vacation to Florida tomorrow. And I am going to enjoy the heck out of it. Isn't that right, Pierre?

PIERRE LE PICKEL: WHAT ABOUT THE OIL POLLUTING THE GULF COAST?!

Ha, like that would stop ME from enjoying myself! My family has been planning this trip for a while. It's a really long story, but some how we got a "great deal" at Mystic Dunes, Orlando, FL. I put the quotation marks there because the deal, while somewhat cheap, has a lot of stupid stuff to go along with it. Go telemarketing! One of the negatives is that now we have payed off the trip, we only have a single date that we have to get there and sign in. Isn't that convienent? I think so. I am not too worried about that though. I'm just looking forward to the swimming and the minigolf. (We better minigolf, darn it.)

Ah, swimming. How it holds a special place in my heart. The truth is, I don't like swimming too much. I have never been able to swim too well, and I have floating issues. I have the nickname, "The Rock", because I seriously will sink if I let myself. I get my unfloatiness from my father, because if I am called the Rock he must be known as the Boulder. However I will be able to put my qualms aside because in Florida we will be swimming in a very SPECIAL water! I think it's called saltwater, and it hangs around these nifty places called beaches. I LOVE beaches! I have no negative memories about them except for the *cough* swimsuitincident *cough*. I better get used to swimming, because that's all my family has money for. We are really rich, ya know.

Anyway, I'll let you know all about my trip when I get back. I'll describe my journeys in such a way that you will be jealous. *snicker* Maybe I'll run into somebody from the BP...