Let's get physical!

Woo! Let's work out! One, two, three, four! Now lets do some backflips! Let's do one hundred backflips! Yeah!

Actually, I can't back flip.

Let's do some push ups, then!

Wait...can't do those either.

You see my friends, I am not the in shape person you took me for in the previous sentences. The truth is that really I am a *gasp* pansy!

Ha ha, point your skinny fingers and laugh while you can. This summer, I have resolved to get in better physical condition! Soon, I will be backflipping and pushing up everywhere I go.

As soon as my stupid foot heals.

You may recall that I had have surgery on my right foot. Well, the gash on the side of my foot is still not healed, so I can't actually do anything complicated with my feet. I can walk, but not run. I'm not even supposed to jump really. With all this in my way, you'd think I'd give up, right? Wrong!

I have created my own complex exercise regimen, in which I do not have to move my right foot at all. It is a series of calorie burning madness in which only a genius like me could create. I'm sure that you want to get in shape too without moving your right foot as well. (Studies show that the right leg is the hardest to move, so why try?) Because I am so kind, I will share my work out with you. Rejoice, young soul, for I will introduce you to the "Right Legless Workout"!

1) First, you should put on your favorite music. This helps you get into the zone.
2) Follow the steps and you will be ready to go!

WORK OUT:

1. THE HIP SWISH:

For three minutes, stand in place and wiggle your hips extravagantly, as quickly as you can. The more butt you put into it the better. This is my favorite part of the work out.

2. THE LEFT LEGGED KICK:

After that, stand in place for a few seconds. Then proceed to wave your left leg up and down for five minutes. You can wave it anywhere. If you kick someone in the head you get a bonus.

3. THE HOLAH DANCER:

Not to be mistaken with hula. Squat down for a few seconds before standing up and waving your arms, screaming "HOLAH! HOLAH!" This strengthens your throatal muscles and your armal muscles at the same time!

4. THE ROBOTIC CHICKEN LADY:

Poke out your elbows to either side of you and flap them whilst jumping on your left foot, whilst screaming, "I'm a lady!". This is an intense work out, so I don't recommend doing it for too long.

5. EXPERIMENT 626:

Do I have to explain this one? Everyone knows it.

I know, I know. This work out is too great for your mind to handle. I'll give you a few seconds to calm down. 1...2...3... Okay, that's enough. I suggest you try it. Not only will you look cool, you'll get in shape too.