Writing Prompt Week: Day Seven

Welcome all to the final hour of writing prompt week. It's been a good one, hasn't it? You may notice that I am writing this at 10:15 PM on a Saturday night. This is because I am lazy and therefor preoccupied myself with reading for the majority of the day. Now, let's activate the RANDOMIZER!

...77!

Let's see what the prompt says:

Think of a product that you wouldn't be caught dead using. The company who makes that product plans to stop its production. Write a strong letter to that company and convince them not to take that product off the market.

Hee hee! This could be fun. I think I'll do an imaginary "product" that I've tried to convince someone to buy with a friend of mine. Let's go!

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To whom it may concern at Lazy Inc,

Hello, I am Esther P. It has come to my attention that you plan on ceasing the production of your number one selling product, the Lazy-lite. In my opinion, this is a poorly executed plan on your part. Not only does the Lazy-lite offer many marketing opportunities, its cheap and easy to manufacture. Getting rid of it would be suicide for your small company in this crumbling economy.

We all know what the lazy lite is: It is a candle that you can light with a press of a button. Not only does this appeals to the lazy, it appeals to the spirtophobiacs all over the world. To appeal to the phobics all over the world is necessary to survive in today's economy and prevent global warming.

For your benefit, I have carefully listed the good qualities of the lazy-lite in hope that you will notice them. I assure you, the good qualities quite over weigh the potentially life threatening ones by one fourth times. In today's economy, that's a good thing.

Firstly, it is a product rich in history. Invented by Walt Lighterson in 1999, this little gadget has been around forever. If we let the world know that the lazy lite is tried and true, they will flock to buy it. It will sell even more if we leave out the part where Walt L. died horribly in a fire. After all, tragic stories are bad for the environment, the children in Africa, and the economy.

Secondly, it can be used for many different things. The intensity of the flame lazy lite creates can be adjusted, making it valuable for many different excursions. Here's an example. You and a rival neighbor are trying to build a fire in the woods. While he tries to use flint, you can just pull out your lazy lite, set it to "inferno" and light a whole tree! Its fire power is fantastic.

You will, of course, have some legal papers drawn that say you are not responsible for any deaths that the lazy lite will cause. Obviously, it is not the gun but the man that wields it that doth do destruction, correct? Legal papers should be made immediately. Your company gets sued a lot, which doesn't make much sense to me. Deal with it though. Suing is bad for the economy. It's also bad for the environment because it wastes paper.

You now see that the lazy lite has its benefits. You must also see that it has its downsides, but with correct marketing these can be resolved. I'm not talking about revamping your product. That would cost money, mister. Just show all the things lazy lite can do and you'll be dandy. After all, the starving children in Africa won't buy it if they think it is a lousy product.

Of course how can you sell a product that has had a bad "past", so to speak? Sure, because of it you have been sued, sentenced for manslaughter, forced to stop global warming and all that junk, but trust me, who would remember stuff like that? People will forget that the lazy lite has had some "issues". It's what they do. The people who do remember will buy it anyway because they'll like to say they had an "experience" with the lazy lite.

So, long story short:

Lazy lite is good for the economy.

It will feed the starving children in Africa.

It will help people that buy it.

And possibly kill people that won't.

One word: Keep making this.

Sincerely,

Esther P.

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There you go! The final entry of the week. I hope you enjoyed not only this piece but all of the things I wrote in general. It's helped me disipline myself, and even increase my monthly word count. (Yes, I do have one of those) This week , on my blog alone, I've written over 6,000 words. That's a lot, and hopefully you read them all! So, I'm closing this week with a tearful goodbye. Thanks for readin'.