I've Been a Knave...(Tales of a Knave)

Oh would you lookie here...I updated! *waves* I owe you no apology. Well, actually I do, but since you've heard me apologize so often that I figured you would just roll your eyes. Like you're doing now.

Stop that!

Anyway, I know that I need to blog more, so I decided to make a pact with a good friend of mine. He has a blog too, (http://101zombiekills.blogspot.com/) so we decided that whenever one of us updates, the other person will have to update too. I wanted to have horrible bloody battles of the tongue and call our little project "Blog Wars", but nooo. So we left it at the original idea. And he updated just now, and it was a great post, and gosh darn it I have a good post too! I have so many ideas that I'm practically dripping them from my nose. I'm snotting ideas.

...

Oh what am I saying? Of course I don't have any good ideas. I spent about fifteen minutes slapping my face with a wooden spoon trying to find something that would make you guys laugh. I was going to make you people cry tears of liquefied laughter. Finally, I gave up. So I doodled. I doodled something fantastic.

I doodled a picture of a guy on a chicken.

(DISCLAIMER TO THE HATER: Now, if this man on this fine chicken resembles any man you know, you are wrong. Do not pay attention to the camo pants or the regal and handsome nose.They do not hint to this person's sense of style. Moving on. )

So, I was like, "Hmm, maybe I can do something with this guy on this chicken." Maybe tell a story about this guy on this chicken? He looks like a knave. Why is a knave riding on a chicken? Maybe he's having an adventure? Maybe even telling tales about it? Tales of a Knave? OMG.

So I doodled again. Behold.

Isn't it beautiful? Yes, I know. Obviously, the man on this chicken has a story. If only someone who was willing to spend countless hours bringing his story spontaneously to life would appear. Oh, who could this wonderful person be?

What, me?
....
No, I couldn't possibly. His story, too epic, his chicken, too resplendent!
....
I don't like drawing pictures anyway, unless you expect me to crank them out at a horribly fast rate, rendering the quality of his story incomprehensible.
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You do? Well, that's not very kind. *cries*
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Oh, I know! Why don't I have the man who this story is about write his story? He has no good sense of humor, his art skills are worse than mine, and he smells like fried orc! Introducing, K'nave!

K'NAVE: I do not smell like fried orc!

ME: Will you tell your story to us, K'nave?

K'NAVE: Well, I would have to wait a few years to tell you. To tell my life story I'll have to be old, drunk, and holed up in a tavern. . .But I guess I can tell you if you want.

ME: Oh yes, oh yes!

K'NAVE: Very well....

ME: Oh yes, start telling us now!

K'nave: Where to begin? Oh yes, I remember. My name is K'nave Windrider, because last names in my country must be made of a weather element and a verb, and my story started when I was sixteen....