I was reading yesterday when I heard a thump, followed by a rapid tappity tappity tap! Alarmed, I put my book down and looked up just in time to see my cat Tifa jump over my head and land on the floor. Perhaps "land" is a strong word. More like, "lost balance and fell on her side". Aren't cats supposed to land on their feet? After that, Tifa started to run off. Maybe "run" isn't the best word either. A good metaphor, which is the only way to describe her movements, would be "trotted off like an innocent gazelle who failed her dexterity roll". This brings another question: Aren't cats suppose to run like, well, cats? Cats do not go tappity tappity tap! At least, not in my experience.
While I was getting over the fact that my cat may have issues, I went to check on my guinea pigs. My cage is constructed of many different levels, and the guinea pigs were at the top with their food dish. Upon seeing me, the guinea pigs wheeeeked in an overall dramatic fashion. Wheek, as you know from my previous post, means "FOOOD" or something like that. So I started to get the pigs food. But it wasn't fast enough for them, oh no, so my guinea pigs started getting violent. Fatone, my eldest pig, picked up the food bowl in his mouth and threw it off the platform. Bedhead, the rebel, started biting the bars of the cage so furiously that I thought his teeth would fall off. It made me stand back and think. Aren't guinea pigs supposed to be, well, somewhat intelligent? By now you would think they would be smart enough to realize that they get food faster by not thrusting their only food bowl off top level. So I came to a conclusion.
Maybe my guinea pigs aren't guinea pigs at all. Maybe my cat isn't a cat at all. Maybe my pets are a whole new type of species that have never been discovered before, and I have had the fortune to discover them. It would explain why my "guinea pigs" are so...special (In a lovable and adorable, but infuriating way) and why my "cat" has no agility and licks the floor like it's ambrosia. That is why, my friends, I studied my animals and classified them. I'm sure my discovery will make me famous for sure. After all, new species are a big deal. So, without further ado, my new species!
ANIMAL COMMON NAME: Tifa the Cat
SCIENTIFICAL NAME: Cattis Gazellius
INTELLIGENCE: Moderate to Stupid
AVERAGE LIFESPAN: Depends. If a Cattis Gazellius ever manages to get outside, then it will die in about thirty seconds.
TEMPERAMENT: Rapidly changes from loving and kind to antagonistic and brutal.
DIET: Carnivore that enjoys preying on small children.
NOTES: Cattus Gazellius is special in that, while it is related to a cat, lacks the basic feline instincts that every cat should have. It does manage to retain, however, an aggressive to murderous attitude to young children, curtains, and feet. Feet are its main prey, but human faces are a welcome alternative to a Tifa. Tifa will hunt by hiding in completely conspicuous places, but she'll think she's invisible to the human eye. While this makes her easy to counter before she strikes, it does get annoying after a while. As a side note, a Tifa seems to go through violent mood swings; being a jerk bag in the mornings, somewhat docile in the afternoons, and down right freaky towards night fall. Tifas hate the smell of fat rodents.
ANIMAL COMMON NAME: Humbles (Fatone and Bedhead)
SCIENTIFICAL NAME: Humbless Fattus.
INTELLIGENCE: Unfortunately stupid
AVERAGE LIFE SPAN: Unknown. Possibly immortal.
TEMPERAMENT: Varies depending on how hungry they are. If they have gone without food for more than three hours, attitude can change to desperate and they will begin to thrust objects and each other off of platforms. (Luckily, the bedding is soft)
DIET: Supposedly vegetarian, but recent studies suggest possible omnivorous tendencies.
NOTES: Two variations of the species Humbless Fattus have been discovered, but they are similar enough to put into the same classification of animal. (I'm not exactly scientifical here.) Humbles have two distinct qualities that make them special: Their humbleness and their trueness. They never brag and they never tell a lie, however they can be mischievous. Don't leave the latch that hooks a water bottle to the cage lying around, because a humble, especially a Fatone variety, will steal it and bury it and turn around just in time to snicker at you. Humbles love high places and try to climb as high as they can.
Their favorite place is on a human shoulder.
Humbles are unfortunately slow witted, and it takes them a while to respond to things. Studies show if you drop a quarter in front of a humble's face, it will take about three seconds for the guinea pig to realize it is there. Also, if a humble is staring at you and you move from its field of vision, it will continue to stare at the same spot until it realizes that you have moved. It will then proceed to slowly turn its head until it faces you again. Humbles love chewing on inedible objects and eating them as if they were edible. Humbles are also incredibly smelly before their bath, and they use their smell to detract preditors.
---
Aren't my animals special? I certainly think so! Even if they are weird, I still love them. I just won't ever stare at my tifa for too long or give my humbles meat.
Esther "Scientifical" P.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Whole New Looook!
Hello ladies and gents! Esther P. here to bring some news! In case you haven't noticed yet, A Very Random Pickle now has a new look!
(The crowd ooohs and looks around)
Eh, eh? Nice, huh? I was looking at my blog the other day and realized that it looked kind of patchy, so I decided to mess with the template design a little. It hasn't changed that much, but I think the whole page flows nicer now! The color scheme is more fancy without losing any of its warty, pickly, goodness. Pierre le Pickel looks like he actually belongs on the page, isn't that right Pierre?
PIERRE: RAWR!
See, he likes it. How do you like your new home, Pierre?
PIERRE: MY HAT ITCHES!
Wow, I had no idea that you loved it so much Pierre.
PIERRE: RAWR!
I am proud of myself. I think it looks pretty good. And it was easy to pull off, too. I am most proud of my links! I made it so that the links actually change color, oh my goodness. If you click it, it changes color, and if you hover over the link, it turns into another color! Yeah, links! I'll show you a link...I'll give you a link, yeah.
Did it work? Did my link work?! *Jumps*
Maybe I should give you ladies and gents a tour. To your left and right you'll see the side of my blog, which are two big strips of green. I picked green because it is the color of pickles and of Ireland. See my fancy blog post text? I changed the font and the color so it flows better. And notice how Pierre is floating on air! Before, he was just a guy in a square. And also, look at the nifty date box right above my post. I made that green too.
...Well, that's it.
So, what do you think of the new look? Like it? Hate it? Any comments are welcome!
Esther "Color Coding Her Links" P.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
People to People: A New Experience
Basically, I'm very lucky. I'm going to tell you why.
Some of you may know this, but I'm going to brief you anyway. Recently, I was accepted into the People to People Student Ambassador Program, and I am very excited to be an Ambassador!
The Student Ambassador Program is about promoting peace between cultures. American students are sent to other countries as ambassadors representing our country to its fullest, creating bonds between America and other countries. While on the program, students will interact with the people they visit in other countries, take part in cultural activities, immerse themselves in that country's history, and overall have a very deep intellectual and emotional experience. People to People was founded by our former president Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1956, and the organization is still going strong today. That's just a little of the basic information, but you can find some more at the website here if you are interested(!) : http://www.peopletopeople.com/AboutUs/Pages/OurHeritage.aspx
People to People is somewhat exclusive and you can only be a part if you are nominated and pass the interview process. I got the invitation in the mail and about two months later I was interviewed. A day later I was called and told that I passed and I was now a Student Ambassador! (And the confetti rains) I will be going on a nineteen day trip to Europe this summer with twenty-three other students from the Illinois and Indiana area. On the trip we will be going to six different countries: England, Ireland, France, Belgium, Whales, and the Netherlands. That's a lot of land mass! Everyday is going to be jam packed with activities, and I simply can't wait. Especially for Ireland, which holds a special place in my Irish heart. Okay, I'm not Irish, but I wish I was.
I'm looking forward to the learning experience most. I've never been outside the country, let alone without my family. I'm going to be forced to be in charge of my own luggage, think more for myself, and spend my money wisely. (But I'm still going to buy a miniature Eiffel Tower.) I'm going to meet so many people and learn how to do new things, even something like rappelling down a castle wall! I am looking forward to the friendship opportunities as well. Not only with my delegation but with people I meet in other countries. Just thinking about it makes me slightly nervous, but I'm more excited than anything else. There is just one minor setback.
The trip is expensive.
Well, I'm sure you expected that. After all it is a big trip. Still, my family is not the richest. The trip alone costs 7,500 dollars. This does not include the stuff I have to buy for the trip, such as a passport and new clothing. (People to People has a stern dress code, and while I own nothing that would upset them, they don't recommend jeans or shorts so I'll need new pants. The pants must be lower than the knee!) I'll need spending money, a new backpack, a camera or at least a phone with a camera, and some other things as well. That's a lot of money for a simple folk like me. So what is a humble gal like me to do?
I'ma gonna fund raise my little tootie off, of course.
I already have a few ideas going. I'm babysitting a friend's child for money (does anyone need a kid sat?) I applied for a P2P scholarship that could really help me out. I'm going to go to businesses in search of sponsorships. I'll work for the sponsorships if they need help. I'm crocheting scarves to sell for money for the trip, and I'm going to sell other things as well, such as giant tubs of cookie dough. I'm going to try to set up a donation site so I can ask people to simply donate to my cause. It's easy to just click and donate. It's going to be hard work, but I know I will be able to do it. I am determined to work hard for every cent. The trip wouldn't be as fun knowing that I didn't work for it. Knowing that I earned my trip will make it fantastic. I'm pretty sure that People to People will change my life forever. I'll grow so much.
I just wanted people to know what I'm doing, just in case I suddenly disappear for nineteen days without warning! I'm also asking for people's support. I don't have a donation site up yet but once I do any amount donated would be great. But most importantly, I like to know that people are behind me saying "Hey girlfriend, you can do it, yo,", or "you get that country!" or something like that. If you have any fundraising ideas, that's today's comment box theme! Type those comments! Type em!
So, anyone want a scarf?
Esther "Funding Her Tootie Off" P.
Some of you may know this, but I'm going to brief you anyway. Recently, I was accepted into the People to People Student Ambassador Program, and I am very excited to be an Ambassador!
The Student Ambassador Program is about promoting peace between cultures. American students are sent to other countries as ambassadors representing our country to its fullest, creating bonds between America and other countries. While on the program, students will interact with the people they visit in other countries, take part in cultural activities, immerse themselves in that country's history, and overall have a very deep intellectual and emotional experience. People to People was founded by our former president Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1956, and the organization is still going strong today. That's just a little of the basic information, but you can find some more at the website here if you are interested(!) : http://www.peopletopeople.com/AboutUs/Pages/OurHeritage.aspx
People to People is somewhat exclusive and you can only be a part if you are nominated and pass the interview process. I got the invitation in the mail and about two months later I was interviewed. A day later I was called and told that I passed and I was now a Student Ambassador! (And the confetti rains) I will be going on a nineteen day trip to Europe this summer with twenty-three other students from the Illinois and Indiana area. On the trip we will be going to six different countries: England, Ireland, France, Belgium, Whales, and the Netherlands. That's a lot of land mass! Everyday is going to be jam packed with activities, and I simply can't wait. Especially for Ireland, which holds a special place in my Irish heart. Okay, I'm not Irish, but I wish I was.
I'm looking forward to the learning experience most. I've never been outside the country, let alone without my family. I'm going to be forced to be in charge of my own luggage, think more for myself, and spend my money wisely. (But I'm still going to buy a miniature Eiffel Tower.) I'm going to meet so many people and learn how to do new things, even something like rappelling down a castle wall! I am looking forward to the friendship opportunities as well. Not only with my delegation but with people I meet in other countries. Just thinking about it makes me slightly nervous, but I'm more excited than anything else. There is just one minor setback.
The trip is expensive.
Well, I'm sure you expected that. After all it is a big trip. Still, my family is not the richest. The trip alone costs 7,500 dollars. This does not include the stuff I have to buy for the trip, such as a passport and new clothing. (People to People has a stern dress code, and while I own nothing that would upset them, they don't recommend jeans or shorts so I'll need new pants. The pants must be lower than the knee!) I'll need spending money, a new backpack, a camera or at least a phone with a camera, and some other things as well. That's a lot of money for a simple folk like me. So what is a humble gal like me to do?
I'ma gonna fund raise my little tootie off, of course.
I already have a few ideas going. I'm babysitting a friend's child for money (does anyone need a kid sat?) I applied for a P2P scholarship that could really help me out. I'm going to go to businesses in search of sponsorships. I'll work for the sponsorships if they need help. I'm crocheting scarves to sell for money for the trip, and I'm going to sell other things as well, such as giant tubs of cookie dough. I'm going to try to set up a donation site so I can ask people to simply donate to my cause. It's easy to just click and donate. It's going to be hard work, but I know I will be able to do it. I am determined to work hard for every cent. The trip wouldn't be as fun knowing that I didn't work for it. Knowing that I earned my trip will make it fantastic. I'm pretty sure that People to People will change my life forever. I'll grow so much.
I just wanted people to know what I'm doing, just in case I suddenly disappear for nineteen days without warning! I'm also asking for people's support. I don't have a donation site up yet but once I do any amount donated would be great. But most importantly, I like to know that people are behind me saying "Hey girlfriend, you can do it, yo,", or "you get that country!" or something like that. If you have any fundraising ideas, that's today's comment box theme! Type those comments! Type em!
So, anyone want a scarf?
Esther "Funding Her Tootie Off" P.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
She Breathes!
For those who thought I was dead, I am in fact breathing. And after a ridiculously long hiatus I have returned to the fabled keyboard to continue to assault you with all of the trivialities of my life. Rejoice! Dance with one shoe off and the other in the refrigerator!
I'm sure there are people who are wondering where the heck I went. I thought I would be able to share my NaNo experience with you all, but in truth, blogging and noveling at the same time is HARD. I found that I couldn't do both. In fact, I completely forgot about my blog. After I finished my novel (THAT'S RIGHT! FINISHED IT!) I didn't want to write anymore for a while. I think I had writeridosis or something. (Writoridosis, WD for short, is a serious medical problem by the way. Don't look it up.) And now, I am back and technically stronger than ever sense I worked out yesterday. (PUN!) So, that's my excuse for not blogging. Do you like it?
You better.
So now I shall start trying to write in this blog of mine more. Maybe three times a week. Although maybe not considering I run out of topics absurdly fast. That is why I am making this filler post with nothing in it except ramblings and clever witisisms contained within parenthesis. (Here's another one.) I can assure you though that I will work hard to keep my baby (that's my blog) up and running for goodish. (that's like forever, except not really.)
So this introductory post comes to an end. I hope to give you all some very random pickles in the future. In addition, thanks to the readers who actually kept reading, even though I abandoned them and didn't post anything new for months. This message goes to my favorite Ds, Zs, Ms, and whomever I forgot to mention. I love you all. Happy birthday and merry Christmas.
Esther "Picklemeiser" P.
PS. If people have theme week ideas, I'll take em! I seem to handle those well! Share your ideas and comments in the wonderful comment box.
I'm sure there are people who are wondering where the heck I went. I thought I would be able to share my NaNo experience with you all, but in truth, blogging and noveling at the same time is HARD. I found that I couldn't do both. In fact, I completely forgot about my blog. After I finished my novel (THAT'S RIGHT! FINISHED IT!) I didn't want to write anymore for a while. I think I had writeridosis or something. (Writoridosis, WD for short, is a serious medical problem by the way. Don't look it up.) And now, I am back and technically stronger than ever sense I worked out yesterday. (PUN!) So, that's my excuse for not blogging. Do you like it?
You better.
So now I shall start trying to write in this blog of mine more. Maybe three times a week. Although maybe not considering I run out of topics absurdly fast. That is why I am making this filler post with nothing in it except ramblings and clever witisisms contained within parenthesis. (Here's another one.) I can assure you though that I will work hard to keep my baby (that's my blog) up and running for goodish. (that's like forever, except not really.)
So this introductory post comes to an end. I hope to give you all some very random pickles in the future. In addition, thanks to the readers who actually kept reading, even though I abandoned them and didn't post anything new for months. This message goes to my favorite Ds, Zs, Ms, and whomever I forgot to mention. I love you all. Happy birthday and merry Christmas.
Esther "Picklemeiser" P.
PS. If people have theme week ideas, I'll take em! I seem to handle those well! Share your ideas and comments in the wonderful comment box.
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