You are evil. And you want somebody to share it with. I'm sure you've found that it is difficult to live life without somebody to loathe(see your nemesis), but now you want somebody to love. However, it is better to go without loving than living with it. More evil plans have been ruined by this horrible five letter word than any other. I advise you to always be extremely cautious when dealing with this emotion, because most of the time it will be the end of you. Do not look upon the hero's various lovers with envy. He does not have such a dark heart as yours. Of course, I am not telling you to throw your heart away, just to be extremely cautious.
First off, allow me to tell you the types of girls who are off limits. There are some people that are just not compatible with you, no matter what. First I will tell you what is off limits for MALE villains.
First off, we have the spunky princess. I know she's cute and "feisty", but that doesn't matter. She will never marry you. Ever. And if you ask her again she'll probably scream it. No, it is best not to go there. She is only a damsel in distress that will attract a hero to save her. And trust me, it's painful to watch the girl you love be carried away by in the muscular hero's arms, leaving you to wallow in the dirt.
Second, never attempt to date the hero's girlfriend. It is kind of odd that he always finds the girl that is extremely attractive, intelligent, and "feisty", but he also always finds the girls that hate you. If you somehow manage to capture the allusive girlfriend, throw her away. Do not tell her you will kill her boyfriend if she doesn't kiss you right then and there. This will result in the face slap. Also, don't try to kiss her in front of the hero. This is just an invitation for some major butt woopin'.
It is obvious that male villains suffer a lot, but female villains make wrong choices too. Here are some tips for female villains to save their hearts from being shattered.
First off, don't fall in love with the hero. I know that he's cute, but he's also a good person. Good and evil don't mix. While you may let him live after he is caught in your evil web, he won't return the favor. He will use you for his own game. If he already has a girlfriend, don't try to kill her. After all, jealousy won't win him over. Don't ever degrade yourself to wearing showy outfits and revealing dresses. He won't notice. In the event that he does claim he loves you as well, he's LYING. But this would be a good time to kiss him and get the whole thing over with. Then you can kill him and NOT feel bad about it.
Second, don't use your feminine wiles to get people to do things for you. It works on henchmen,(heck, it works on the hero)but you have to understand that it develops a fake relationship with you and what little friends you have. You are allowed to do it every now and then, just don't do it to the point where you come off as a floozy. You are not a floozy. You are a strong, beautiful person who doesn't need that bologna.
And there you have the cautions of romantic relationships. You will find that you will be checking here every now and then to remind yourself that love is never the answer. But it doesn't hurt to go out and date every now and then, just don't get too attached. Until next time.
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