Petville and Farmville: The Addiction

(NOTE: Some of these sentences have been dramatized for your convenience.)**

For those that have a Facebook, and for those that even don't, I'm sure you've heard of the notorious Farmville and Petville applications. (Doodly doodly Petville!)These games have taken over Facebook land, making addiction certain to all that play it. Guilty as charged, I almost got addicted myself. I can recall worrying about how my crops were doing, or if my pet needed feeding. I remember the pain of constantly signing onto facebook, checking if my stupid corn plants were finally growing yet. After a few days, I got sick of Farmville. After about two weeks, Petville was getting to me as well. I decided I needed intervention.

I decided to cancel my application to both games, forever ending my "ville" career. However, doing so would prove harder than I could possibly imagine...

*FLASHBACK..BACK..BACK..Wooosh!*

I sit back in my chair, gazing critically at the computer screen. I watch as a large truck appears on the screen, and dumps a filthy little creature that is supposed to be my own on the floor.

"Uh oh," says the computer, "You forgot to feed your Pet and he ran away to the pound!"

"Well I was busy." I tell the computer, "Don't be so harsh with me."

I pay the fine for not taking care of him. The pet on my computer screen waves a filthy little fist at me. He walks over to his food dish and pauses to wave away some of the flies that are now circling his head. "Feed me." His blue eyes seem to say. But his eyes could have been red: his eyes were that blood shot. I give him a cookie and switch over to my next application, Famville. I wait for the screen to load and then look at it in horror. All of my plants are wilted and brown.

"Uh oh." says the computer, "You forgot to harvest your plants and now they are all dead!"

"Yeah, I see that with my own eyes. I was busy. Don't be so harsh with me." I answer. I plant some more seeds and lean back and wait. And then it occurs to me:

Why do I have to take care of these things, anyway? They take a lot of time and the berate you with guilt. Why do they have to order me around? I should be free. I want to be free! That's it.

I'm going to cancel the applications!

I decide to start with Farmville first, not wanting to deal with my sarcastic pet at the time. I go to my my account, click "application settings", and drag my cursor onto "cancel Farmville". I click my mouse. A small window pops up asking me if I really want to terminate my application. I click, "yes". Another window pops up and says,
"Do you REALLY want to terminate this application?"

"Yes, I believe I do." I click yes. Another window pops up.

"Are you REALLY REALLY sure you want to do this? I mean, if you do this you'll lose all of your hard earned money. Perhaps I should send intervention."

What? I click, "Yes, I want to do this." Another window appears. It says, "Intervention sent". I sigh with relief because I think the whole thing is over. Then a large poof of smoke appears on my left shoulder. I cough wave the cloud away, only to find that my hand touches something solid. Being the logical person I am, I scream. Out of the smoke cloud appears a small girl. She jumps off of my shoulder and onto my keyboard. I look at her. She looks exactly like my farmville avatar, except she had little angel wings. She hops onto my shoulder.

"Please don't cancel me. I'm your friend." She says.

"I'm sorry, but if I don't nix you then you will guilt my conscience forever."

"You've forgotten something."

"What is that?"

"I AM your conscience. The good side."

I can practically hear the dramatic music play in my head. I pick her up by the wings and set her on my desk. I continue to delete my account. She pulls on my ear. I cry out in pain.

"WHAT did you do that for? Say, where's my bad side?"

"He's on vacation. You can't delete me! Think of all that we've been through. The planting, the picking, the planting, the picking. And remember the time that we planted and picked in the same day? Don't do this to me!" She shouts.

"I'm sorry Good Side of My Conscience, but I have to do this." I move to click on the delete button. She stabs me in the thumb with a pitch fork.

"OH MY GOSH," I scream, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY GOOD SIDE."

She blows on her pitch fork.

"Sometimes there's a thin line between your good side, and your bad side. Don't push the button, Esther."

"How do you know my name?"

"...I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN!"

"Well, that's too bad!" I say. I click my mouse.

"NOOOO!! You'll regret this Esther! You'll rue this day!" She screams.

"I don't see why, I just canceled the application." I say.

My good side disappears in a cloud of smoke. I sigh back and relax. I decide just to let my Petville pet starve, just in case I get on my bad side.


**-Okay, maybe a bit more than dramatized.

....Yeah. That's what happened. I'm serious. I'm just here to say that applications on facebook aren't all they are cut out to be. Maybe you agree with me.